To infinity and beyond
by scpercorp
Summary: When earth-38 is about to be destroyed, Lena Luthor sees her whole life flash through her mind. Read to find out what she was thinking, right before the wave hit her body.


A loud noise echoed through the room and Lena shot up from her desk, some of her paperwork stuck on her face. She heard screaming, the very familiar sound of explosions and she practically flew to her balcony window. Her green eyes widened in shock as soon as she saw the terror on the streets and there was this dude with a sign, screaming something that she couldn't understand, but she knew that it can't be good. Her feet guided her out of the office, into the elevator and onto the streets, where she was almost ran over by a granny, who also hit her with her purse.

"The world is dying, not even Supergirl could save us now!"

Lena's eyes land on the same guy she saw from her office and she felt herself moving closer to him, wanting to ask what the fluff was happening right now, but before she was able to reach him, a dinosaur thing attacked him. Right on time Supergirl appeared and got it off him, while Lena hid in the crowd, secretly admiring and drooling over the hero's work.

To be honest, Lena can't say that she doesn't regret the things she did and said, but Kara deserved to suffer like she suffered, she deserves to feel what Lena felt, the same hurt, the same betrayal.

Her eyes never left Kara as she flew away, leaving the startled man behind and Lena decided, after a falling tree almost killed her, to go back to her office and watch from a safe place, where the chance of being killed by tree's isn't as high as down here.

The moment she reached her office again, Lena immediately ran to her big ass windows and stalked the people outside, but her mind went off, thinking back to the day she told Kara they weren't friends, that Lena herself isn't a villain and Kara shouldn't have treated her like one. She remembered that day as if it was yesterday, the cold air hitting her skin and making her shiver slightly, and Kara's teary eyes when Lena trapped her in that ice block.

\--f l a s h b a c k--

"Now I killed my brother for you, for our friends, don't you understand what you've done?!" Lena screamed at Kara, shaking violently and at the edge of breaking down crying. Oh, how much Lena wished to just do that, but she couldn't. She wasn't raised to do so.

All the hatred, all the betrayal she felt for the last months came out like word vomit, but she couldn't stop herself. All the words floated out of her mouth and she felt so much lighter from getting it all off her chest.

Her heart ached and her head hurt, she was sure that tears were already streaming down her face, but not because she was sad, but because of anger.

Kara just stared at her, mouth slightly open and her face tomato red, she tried really hard not to cry, but Lena couldn't show pity. Lena has been hurt too much and now it's time for Kara to get her payback. Lena put her hand in the pocket of her jeans, tightly gripping the remote for her transmitter portal watch, an old gift she got from Lex some years ago. Kara moved around, talking, but it was all just dull for Lena and her heart started beating faster and louder when Kara stepped into that certain area. An ice block started to build around her body, slightly filled with kryptonite. Not enough to kill Kara, but enough to hold her back so she wouldn't follow her.

"Don't do it Lena, you are a good person!" Kara was literally on her knees, begging, but at this moment Lena felt something inside of her explode, something that she definitely held in for too long.

"No! No, you don't ever get to tell me who, or what I am again!" She screamed, the portal opening and she stepped through it. With Myriad in her hands.

\-- Present --

Lena snapped out of her thoughts as her office door closed and the older Danvers sister stepped to her desk, causing Lena to roll her eyes so hard that they might've been stuck.

"What?" She asked, now turning around to face the redhead. "Are you here to arrest me during the apocalypse or try to kill me because you weren't successful the other day?" She said coldly, if eyes could kill, Alex would've been a dead woman by now.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you Lena." Defended the Agent herself, taken aback by the roughness of the sound of Lena's voice. "I was trying to stop you from using Myriad." She continued, making Lena roll her eyes again.

"Right," said the brunette, walking closer to Alex. "Now what do you want?"

"I need your help." Alex let out a shaky breath, she hates feeling nervous but she just can't help it. If Lena says no to this, the people of earth38 would be gone forever. "The sky isn't naturally red, it is because the world is dying. Every earth is dying and I- we need your help to save the people. Please Lena, I know you don't trust me anymore but don't let that lead you to a way you will regret ever stepping on." Alex was begging, basically on her knees. She watched Lena slowly walking to her and she gulped, piercing green eyes staring her down. "We need you to build a transmitter portal."

"I am not a villain. I may not like you, but I would never kill anyone."

Feeling like the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders, Alex breathed out and smiled a bit, being thankful that Lena hasn't gone mad.

"Of course I am going to help you." Lena cleared again, hoping the agent wouldn't misunderstand her commitment as offer for friendship.

She walked silently out of the room, leaving Alex startled behind but she quickly followed Lena, knowing every second is important for them. Lena opens a door and stepped through it, not caring about Alex at all, who had struggles to hold the heavy door open.

Nearly dying because of her weak lounges, she stood next to Lena who was doing god knows what.

Lena was deeply annoyed, not because of the clueless agent next to her, but because of Hope not being here. She had to do everything alone now, even though she hates to admit it, Hope was a great frie- assistant. Yup. Just an assistant, nothing more, nothing less.

Furiously, she began smashing the letters on her keyboard and looked for the plans her brother left her, when he was still thinking she would ever join his evil path. Like as if she would. The only reason she worked at Lex-Corp at all was because she thought they were doing something good, his obsession with killing Superman was supposed to help people, not kill them.

Well, she has been fooled. Lena Kieran Luthor, aka Booboo the fool.

"Hurry up! We don't have much time." Alex's voice brought her back to reality and made Lena realize, that they have a- rather big problem to work on.

"I am trying, but the portal works by synthesizing polyatomic anions and if I don't get the energy levels right when I interface with the device then the ships will disintegrate when they fly right through it." She spoke without taking a breath. It is obvious that Lena is stressed and Alex can be glad that she loves physics, otherwise she wouldn't have understood a single word.

"Right, that's not a good option-" She stuttered and earned a harsh "No." from Lena.

Lena continued to violate her keyboard and Alex tried to think of a solution, but she said the only thing that came into her mind:

"Have you thought about using an inverse variable to help calculate the differential?"

Lena looked up to her, mouth opened in shock, like she couldn't believe that the agent just said that and jumped up.

"Smart!" She said and walked around her table to get to another computer, but the earthquake caused an explosion, which nearly killed her.

Alex sprung forward and grabbed Lena, pulling her with her so she wouldn't end up smashed on the floor.

"Thanks-" She stuttered, still in shock with Alex holding her by her shoulders. Alex, in the same position, muttered out a "you're welcome." before releasing Lena and avoiding eye contact.

"But just to make this clear," Lena started, looking at Alex with her lips in a thin line, "Don't mistake us working together for friendship."

She knew that Alex was getting way too comfortable with her so she had to draw a line, right then and there. Lena also knew that Alex won't respond to her statement, so she finished the last things she had to do for the portal and walked away, saying: "Now lets go help people get on these ships."

"Go, go! Hurry up now!" Lena screamed into the big crowd of confused humans, aliens and gays, who were all running around in panic. With Alex, Kelly and Nia's help she was able to control the ant-like crowd and get them on the ship.

It disappeared through the portal and Lena smiled with teary eyes. She knew she would be left behind, because there was no one who cares about her. These people have family, friends and pets, while Lena had no one.

A hand landed on her shoulder causing her to jump slightly.

"We did it." Kelly whispered, tears streaming down her face, but she is still smiling. Kelly, like Alex and everyone else still on this earth gave her life for all those people on the ship, even though they will die too. Soon. Yes, they got them on the ship, but it was just time for Supergirl so she can stop the wave.

Lena just gave a small smile to Kelly before wiggling out of her grip and walking back to L-Corp, doing things that were necessary now.

Crying. Eating. And crying while eating.

She could let it all out, no one was there to see her, no one was there to judge her.

When she arrived at her office and sat down on her couch, but didn't cry. Somehow her eyes felt dry and Lena ended up staring into distance, her whole life, from childhood until now, replayed in her mind.

\--f l a s h b a c k--

"Andrea?" Lena asked happily, glad to see a familiar face at the party where her boyfriend just brought her as a plus one. Even though they are both partners in the project they are working on, Jack was always the preferred one. Lena was the genius, Jack the 'beauty'. She planned on breaking up with him a long time ago, but it would be bad for business. When she finally finds a good reason to leave him, she won't just leave him, but Metropolis.

"Lena?" Andrea asks, panic flashing through her eyes which makes Lena furrow her eyebrows.

"Why are you-" She started, but then her eyes wandered down to her friend's chest, non perverted reasons of course, and landed on something familiar. Something she wanted to have since she was a child, something she risked her life for, just to have Andrea tell her that it isn't there anymore, that someone before them took it. The medallion her mother used to tell her stories about, the medallion her mother was so passionate about and the medallion Lena wanted to use to safe hundreds, even millions of people.

"Why do you have the medallion?" She asked, feeling herself getting more angry with her friend. Lena had been betrayed again and she didn't even notice. She had trusted Andrea with her life, she would have died for her.

You jump I jump, right?

That is what they always said- or rather what they used to say. Lena felt her heart shatter the moment she spotted the medallion on her friends chest.

"It's not what it looks like, I swear!" Andrea stated, completely in panic when she saw the hatred flash across the green eyes.

"You lied to me, saying that it wasn't there while you had it the whole time! You knew how much it meant to me!"

"Please, please you don't understand-" Andrea wanted to talk, she wanted to tell her best friend so badly that she had no other choice but steal it, but she was cut off by Lena slapping her across the cheek and walking away with big steps.

Even though Lena will probably never speak to her again and she lost one of the longest friendships she had, Andrea had to admit that Lena's swaying hips looked pretty hot.

\--f l a s h b a c k I I--

"But don't expect me to go to National City with you." Lena's boyfriend, Jack stated, visibly upset. He watched Lena packing her suitcase for almost an hour and there was not even a single second where they weren't arguing.

"I am not asking you to come with me." Lena argued. She looked Jack dead in the eye and continued speaking, slowly and almost in a whisper. "There, in National City is Supergirl, a woman who is trying to make a name outside of her family. Her cousin is Superman, while she must be a victim of sexism by 60 year old men." Her voice was shaking, but luckily he didn't notice. "In National City, I am able to escape the crimes of my family. I won't be Lena Kieran Luthor, the sister of the murderer and maniac Lex Luthor. I'll be Lena, just Lena. I can finally have the life I've ever wanted."

Jack's mouth was opened, definitely surprised that his girlfriend, the love of his life was willing to break up with him just to be seen, just to be famous. It was selfish.

"So you're just going to leave me? Leave all of this behind?"

Lena just smiled sadly at him, her wavy hair softly hugging her face and falling on her shoulders.

"Goodbye." She finally whispered, then turned around and left.

\--f l a s h b a c k I I I--

It is the 15th October, 2007. Lena is on the playground, all by herself.

Why? Because she has no friends. Of course, who wants to be friends with a Luthor? No one.

In school she is bullied, hated by everyone, kids, teenagers, even teachers and parents of her classmates who tell them lies about her. Saying that she has build tech to hurt them, to kill them all.

She often cries about the fact that she will never have a normal childhood. People will always hate her, for things she didn't even do. Sometimes she gets panic and anxiety attacks too, it isn't pretty. When she is in dark, small rooms, it reminds her of the time she was put into the closet by Lillian, every time Lex was away to 'research' something he needed for Lex-Corp. He would be gone for weeks, and this time Lena had to be in the closet. She wasn't allowed to see the light, to eat and if she made even the smallest noise, Lillian would beat the crap out of her.

When Lex came back, she had to smile, act like nothing happened and like Lillian didn't treat her worse than the trash outside. Lillian would even cover the bruises with makeup and slap Lena when she winces in pain.

Lena sniffled, remembering the times that still aren't over.

The swing next to her made a loud noise causing Lena to flinch together. She knew it was Tony and his clique and she also knew what they wanted to do with her. To her.

Lena stopped fighting months ago, she learned that the enemies have less fun if the victim isn't doing anything. So she closed her eyes and seconds later she felt herself getting slammed into the ground.

She heard a loud crack and instant pain shot through her wrist, followed by a kick in her stomach. The air was knocked out of her and she had to fight back tears, it was pathetic that she thought she would be used to it by now. Tony started kicking and punching Lena's face, not even stopping when he broke her nose and laughing when he felt her blood on his hands.

Lena cried silently, she learned how her cries would just satisfy him more and more, Lex taught her that. He also taught her to hold her chin high, having it low is just a sign of weakness, and no Luthor wants to be weak.

So while Tony started to slam Lena's head on the hard ground, she already started to feel herself black out.

Is this how she dies? At a playground? Beaten to death? She hasn't reached anything in life, no world-changing tech, no rescuing innocent people and she hasn't even been asked to go to the cinema with one of her classmates. Samantha Arias is the only girl in her class who was always nice to Lena, never laid a hand on her and she even protected her from Tony and other bullies.

Everything before her started to become a blur and the noises, more specifically Tony's grunting started to fate away.

"Stop it! Get some help!" Was the last thing she heard before she blacked out completely.

\-- t i m e s k i p--

It was white. White everywhere.

Was she in heaven? Lena can't say that she isn't a bit disappointed, she always wanted to be in hell. Who wouldn't choose Satan over God tho?

But what was that beeping sound? Is it the elevator going down to hell because God realised he made a mistake? Lena surely hoped so.

"She's awake!" Someone yelled, bringing Lena out of her heaven-hell phantasy.

After heaving a closer look Lena realised that she was at a hospital and the beeping sound wasn't the elevator, it was a heart-monitor.

Pouting, she tried to sit up but pain shot through her whole body, causing her to gasp loudly and hold her breath.

"Slowly- don't do anything. Please, lay down." The voice said again, this time in a whisper. Lena figured that it has to belong to a human with the female sex, because it was soft and angelic.

The door opened and footsteps came nearer to her bed. "Ma'am? Ma'am can you hear me? How many fingers can you see?" A different voice asked, definitely belonging to an adult.

"The mitochondria is the power house of the cell." Lena mumbled, closing her eyes and completely ignoring the fingers in front of her. Why would she answer that stupid finger question? She isn't blind, she was just almost beaten to death. Didn't the doctor have anything better to do? Like saving lives and letting people sit in the waiting room for an unnecessary long amount of time?

"She is fine." The feminine voice answered and Lena's mind started to clear a bit, figuring out how serious this situation really was.

"Samantha?" She asked, confused. "Ha, I don't even know a Samantha!" Lena started to giggle like a child, then seeing that the doctor and the girl looked at her like she has gone mad.

"Okay, okay, I'm okay, but now can somebody please tell me what happened and why-" She gestured to the girl, "you are here."

"You don't remember me?" The brunette asked, a bit of pain in her voice. Lena took a closer look and remembered some of her features. Like the high cheekbones, the brown hair with some lighter strains in it and the pointy nose.

"Wait, Samantha?" Now Lena felt like an idiot for doing that Sam joke just a few seconds ago and her face went bright red- being embarrassed isn't something Lena liked, and definitely not when she made a dumb joke about the name of the girl who most likely saved her from death.

\--t i m e s k i p--

Laughter filled the Luthor Mansion, coming from Lena's room. She is now seventeen years old and currently sitting on her bed with her best friend and also life saver Sam.

"And then you said- 'The mitochondria is the power house of the cell'!" Sam laughed, her eyes crinkling slightly and Lena smiled softly. She remembers the day like it just happened, the day that changed her life. Thanks to Sam's popularity, Tony was expelled and Lena wasn't harassed anymore. People actually started talking to her and she made friends, real ones that always had her back. Like Samantha.

She had always been a true friend to Lena, treating her like a human and not a Luthor. Lena was very thankful for the one who put Sam into her life and she showed it everyday.

There was a time when Lena felt herself falling in love with Sam, but she knew that the brunette was way out of her league and the fact that Sam got pregnant a few months ago broke her heart, but she tried to smile through the pain. Lena knows that it was just a stupid one-night stand, but it could've been her. She could've been the one sleeping with Sam, she could've figured out if it was really love or not, and Sam wouldn't be pregnant now. But you can't have it all, right?

"Oh, oh and do you remember when-" Sam tried to say while laughing, but she doesn't have any air left in her lounges, "when you asked our teacher Mrs. Miller why she wears such a weird coloured pair of jeans, but she actually bled through it?"

Lena sucked in air at that memory, it had been a bad day for both of them and Lena didn't actually realise that she had called out her teacher bleeding through her pants in front of the whole class. She had detention for a month and was never happier that Lillian was in jail, otherwise she would've been a dead girl by now. Imagine the headline 'Girl Beaten To Death By Her Mother With A Belt' the unlucky bastard who would have to write this.

"I thought we both agreed to never talk about this again?" Lena shrieked, slapping Sam's arm who just started to laugh harder.

The soft smile appeared back on Lena's face and she closed her eyes, listening to the laugh of her friend.

\--f l a s h b a c k I V--

"Wait, you will be killing innocent people with this!" She nearly screamed, definitely losing her mind and any trust in her brother. "Your obsession with killing Superman was supposed to help people!" She stared at the hologram in front of her, which was showing the Lexosuit. Lena couldn't believe that her own brother betrayed her, the one who used to tell her that she shouldn't trust people. He was always her favourite in the Luthor family, the one who made her feel the most welcomed. And now he did this?

She loved working at Lex-Corp, but she thought they were helping people. Oh, how she had been fooled. Booboo the fool is back, ladies and gentlemen.

"Either help me, or leave." This was the only thing Lex said, and he didn't even look at her.

Either he couldn't bear looking his own sister into her eyes or he thinks that she isn't worth it.

Oh how she wishes that it to be the first one.

Flipping her hair over her shoulder, Lena left the office of her brother, who just fired her.

Walking through the streets furiously, she bumped into a brown haired woman. Her hair was short, barely reaching her ears and she had round glasses on her nose, making her look like Harry Potter.

Lena had to admit that this woman was beautiful, the freckles on her nose made her look cute and innocent in the sunlight.

"Oh god I am so sorry-" The woman stuttered, obviously intimidated by Lena, who just smirked at her.

"No, it was completely my fault. Let me make it up to you, tea?" She asked in a soothing voice, which made the knees of the brunette weak.

Not being able to say anything, she just nodded her head and closed her mouth, because she had started to drool.

\--f l a s h b a c k V--

"Stupid- thing!"

Lena heard her assistant Jess cursing for the third time in an hour. She just got a new laptop and still has to learn how it works, Lena could really tell that it isn't going very well.

But before she reached out her hand to speak to Jess through her intercom, someone knocked on her office door.

"Come in!" She yelled, expecting her dinner food deliver, but instead it was Clark Kent with a very cute girl next to him.

"We're here for an interview, Miss Luthor. Your assistant said you were free at the moment so we decided to check in, am I right?" Clark laughed nervously and since he was acting like a dad who tried to be 'cool' for his kids, Lena wasn't able to hide her smile.

"Of course Mr. Kent. Ask me anything you want." She smiled, trying to appear nice. Lena really hoped that she didn't look like she slept three hours, which she did.

"Okay, we know that you changed the name of your company. Why is that?" Clark asked immediatly.

"See, I am just a woman trying to make a name outside of her family. I've grown up with the Luthor name, but I wasn't born with it. I was adopted when I was four." She watched Clark making notes on his note pad. "The 'Lex' on the logo is causing people to go away, shake in fear or tear up because of memories, I even get letters from father's, mother's and other people that lost their loved ones that tell me to kill myself, to jump right off of the balcony. Being the only woman in business isn't easy, Mr. Kent. Please respect the fact that I also have a heart, even though Lex didn't. I am nothing like him nor will never be, do you understand that?"

She watched the reporter stay silent, but looked up again when she heard an angelic voice say: "Yes, yes I do."

"And who are you exactly?" Lena asked and regretted it immediately, because she saw the woman flinch slightly. Her voice was too harsh at the wrong times, but she had to have this 'talent', men are not an easy species, especially not in business.

"I uhm- Kara Danvers with CatCo Worldwide Media." The blonde replied, nervously pushing up her glasses which Lena found adorable.

"But CatCo is more like- 'high waisted jeans, yes or no?'" She laughed and regretted it again.

Why can't she just shut up? Why did she have to be so nervous? It's not like she hasn't seen a beautiful woman before, so why was this one different?

\--Present--

Lena found herself smiling at all the memories and she is very thankful, for every single one of them. The good ones, even the bad ones. They made her who she is now, without these memories she wouldn't be 'Lena Luthor', she would just be Lena. One of her big goals was it to show Tony that she isn't the worthless piece of shit he always said she was. She was successful, had her own multi-billion dollar company and even saw a girl wearing a shirt with 'Lena Luthor Protection Squad' written on it.

Her eyes looked out of the window and widened a bit. The wave was coming near L-Corp, destroying literally everything on it's way, but Lena just smiled sadly.

She knew that she has reached everything in her life what she wanted, and her mother would be proud of her. Not Lillian, no- but her real mother. Now Lena would be able to join her mother, wherever she was right now. Heaven or hell, doesn't matter. As long as she is happy, Lena is too.

The wave reached her balcony and tore it into pieces, until nothing of it was left. Then it was her window, her desk and her carpet.

One last time, Lena thought back to all the beautiful memories she has with Kara. Not Supergirl, but Kara, and only Kara.

The way Kara made her smile with her adorableness, their fights about whether kale could hurt you or not and their dinner dates, the game nights, not to start with the sleepovers they had. Every Saturday to Sunday. Kara forced Lena to go to sleep at 11pm, because she knew that Lena has too much lack of sleep. Kara always worried about Lena's mental health. She has seen too many suicides and knows what an anxiety attack is, even how to stop it. Kara noticed when Lena felt mentally unstable and held her until she felt alright, she did everything for Lena to feel better. Kara hated to see Lena cry so she always tried to do it when the blonde left her office, but every time she started, her phone rang and it was always Kara, asking if she was alright.

Lena remembers this one time, she was totally done with life, with everything and everyone and it was just a question of time until she picked up a piece from the wine glass she just shattered and put it on her wrist, ready to do anything to end this greyness of the world. She jumped when she heard a knock on her door and quickly threw the glass somewhere else, acting like she was actually picking it up. When she saw Kara walking to her, her heart really broke. She almost lost Kara, if she hadn't come at the right moment-

"Big Belly Burgers?" Kara asked, smiling. Lena couldn't help but fall in love with this smile. "Thank you, Kara."

"What friends are for?" Kara always said in those moments, but Lena knew that this wasn't just friendship, it was something more. But there is no time left to figure out what it was.

The wave started at her fingers and toes. It tickled a bit but Lena didn't laugh. She just watched herself die.

"I forgive you Kara, I hope you can forgive me too."

**A/N****this story was originally posted on wattpad, but I thought why not post it here too:)**


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